I am trying to put into words what I am feeling today. Its something vaguely familiar to me but also strangely uncomfortable. I have heard people talk about it and others declare their active pursuit of it. I cannot remember a single time in my life, from the time I was a little girl growing up knowing firsthand what being at peace. My house while loving at times was often full of uncertainty, confusion, and keeping busy was the rule of thumb. I adopted that
belief and sought to be perfect, to keep busy and when I completed a task to immediately
head out to do something else – be of value by being a “human doing not a human being?”
This was not just my house but I have felt like the speed at which life is moving, for me and all around me has been going from 0 – 60 mph without my even knowing how or why. But we all do it and I honestly felt at times that If I slowed down or stopped completely that I would be run over or pushed aside. Then there is mult tasking and I am not sure what sadist sought this as a great new way to live life but I used to thrive on the kudos I received for doing more and more and more and more and more,…..I became exhausted and unable to keep up.
Today I am practicing a new way of living my life and it involved being present and mindful. I am experiencing, apparently, the benefits of slowing down, sitting still and allowing my mind, my body to rest; They work hard and they deserve it. My response to life is different – its more accepting and less reacting. I am sleeping better and feeling more rested when I get up in the morning. I do not find myself seeking out ways, means or activities to leave this place called the present, in the moment and right here, right now.
This feeling, though is a little awkward, curious and even weird but I am growing into it and I think that I will embrace it as a new friend I am anxious to get to know better.